Seems like polyamory's bound to awaken any emotional issues that lie within each member of a poly family or each person who attempts polyamory, especially in a monogamously-oriented culture. They're coming up against cultural conditioning and "societal norms" and one has to be strong and self-confident in order to weather the storm. Someone's bound to notice what you're doing and criticize. They may even attempt to take your children or throw you in jail (if there's some loophole in the law that remains on the books from antiquity). And then there's the "born-agains", right-wing Christians that may excommunicate you from their church or community or even manage to pass legislation to limit your ability to co-house or have sex. Shame shame. But who's to blame?

From the practical side, first thing you may want to do when contemplating a poly life is to imagine what type of polyamory will work best for you. Not everyone has to live together to be polyamorous. Living together seems to be one of the hardest aspects of polyamory to master.

Having sex with many partners often seems to be the easiest, for many. Opening hearts is by far the simplest thing when there's chemistry between people. But when there's two people who are starting a relationship because someone they love is in relationship with that new person, they may not intend to engage sexually with the new partner. So if they chose to open up their heart chakras without opening their sexual energy centers, they may have to set their intention to create a friendship. That's often accomplished by doing things together, setting aside time to get to know one another and learning how to respect each person for who they are. Our partner's partners are like the new in-laws and as such we must learn to love them, warts and all. After all, one of your beloveds loves them, and thus they are loveable.

Kira Lessin, May 9, 2005