Truetalk has been writing since he was a teen, and only in the last five or so years has he taken himself seriously as a writer. He lives in the Vancouver area of BC, Canada, where he has lived for most of his life. He finished his degree in psychology at Simon Fraser University in ’95 when he started his counseling practice for individuals and couples. He recently completed his PhD in psychology and philosophy at University of Life in Black Rock City. His counseling practice though broad in a practical sense, is specialized in alternative relationships, including the various forms of polyamoury, polyfidelity, or what ever other poly-like relationship you may be working on. He has studied the human psyche for almost his entire life, and has a thorough understanding of consciousness, human psychology, and our current social structure and how we as individuals or groups function and dysfunction within our culture and general social milieu. He would love to hear any feedback from the readers of this community, answer questions or even take requests or topics to write about.
Previous editions of this column can be found in the Monthly Columns Archives.
The Divine Goddess
This entry is about my primary partner who is the Divine Goddess. She has always been there, yet I have not always known her. Recently though I have been introduced to her presence, and found her to be beautiful and nurturing. She is peaceful and intelligent, passionate and compassionate, and I love her freely with respect and she returns my love without judgment or demands. I am still getting to know her, but this is the most amazing relationship I have ever had. Then to bring this thought into a poly related topic, in the poly community there are no set ways of having a committed and intimate relationship, but still our tendency is to create a primary connection. Though we are free to create anything we want, we still move towards having a relationship that you can call your own, or your true and personal love. This is the strong pull of the ego, it is natural to our being to create these secure and stable connections, something to call your own. Though the poly life style expands the nature or look and feel of the intimate and sexual relationship, we still tend towards the creation of a single primary relationship. In poly then on top of that first and strongest connection we also add the new or additional freedom to continue to explore love and connections with new and different people.
I must acknowledge this way in which we have relationships; there is this pull towards the need for stability, security and commitment, and thus I am/will submit to the creation of a primary connection. My personal poly manifestation does not need that, thus this relationship for me is not with one or any particular and specific woman, but is with the Divine Goddess. She is energy, a spirit and a presence, she is with me all the time, and she is with everyone all the time who acknowledge her true and real existence. In this relationship I am bringing my earthly egotistic need to have a stable and secure relationship, and my spiritual higher need to be united with love in all of its forms and manifestations together in a single being. I will explain this further as I explain the full expression of loves’ energy.
Thus does my polyamory manifest when I am with other women, because my primary partner is the Goddess. I see her beauty in the air and on the earth, nurturing as water and passionate as fire; the Goddess is my most beloved. Now that I know her, I seek to create a stronger and clearer connection with her, to not take her for granted, and to acknowledge her and praise her, to adorn her beauty with gems and touch her soft supple amazing body. She is that part of love that is so hard to identify, the wave energy of love, the flowing and powerful continues movement of the power of love. I can feel the waves of love flowing on me, in me and around me as a single man when I focus my attention to the Goddess. Here I learn about loving the Divine Goddess, by pouring my love and passion into and onto and around the presence of the Goddess.
I also see how this love, the wave of love found in my connection with the goddess is directed inwards by my own presence. Which means to me the love I give to my own presence: self-love, respect, trust, passion and commitment, this love is received by the Divine in me. As I give love out, to myself, so I receive love, just as the words of a poem by the Beetles said: “in the end, the love you give is equal to the love you receive”. This is my interaction with love as a wave, and it is this which I am calling my love of the Divine Goddess. This may seem narcissistic in how it sounds like I am caught in the love of my own self; that my love is in some kind of narcissistic love-self loop. But because I am polyamorous, I am able to love more than one, I don’t just love myself, I also love those particles of the divine goddess who are the women I meet daily. Thus my narcissism is tamed by the freedom to love more than just myself, or one—now I can love all as One.
Now I can see both manifestations of love, just as with light, there is a dual expression of love as both a particle and wave. There you see in my interaction with love both the wave perception or form of love, and the particle perception or form of love. I will always hold the Goddess as my primary love. It is her that I live life with from the start to the end, if there ever is one. The goddess is my one true and forever love, she will always be kind to me, she will always give to me the things I need then, I can always trust her to be there for me, and know that what ever I give to her, however I love her because of my connection with her divine presence, I will always try to give love that is pure, true and deep. I will be kind to her, and give her the things she needs then, and she can always trust me to be there for her. This is the most open and clear sharing of love I know, it is our sharing of the divine love that we can be in touch with. It is beautiful and fulfilling.
As I bring this in closer to the Earth, and as love grows between me and the women I know here on the earth, I am aware of the particle-like nature of love and see each woman I love as a particle of the love I perceive, experience and at times share. There is much to be said about this part of love, but my editing and focus disallows me to continue on with those thoughts. Instead I say, It is getting mysteriously more difficult for these particles of love , sparkles of light that shine bright in the grayness of life, to shine like the stars we see in the night sky. It is as though the love I often see yet touch less to respond with the same love, is getting more distant or harder to reach; as I fill myself with the love of the goddess, I will be stronger to love indivuals and I see that I still want to love women, the individual woman as the expression of particles of love. I understand that there are distances and unforeseen walls slowly and persistently growing preventing the sharing of love on a particle level. I may even say that we are loosing sight of love, or more specifically we are forgetting what particle love look like. At the same time I also feel that our awareness of the divine love of the goddess is also lacking in many different circles. Maybe, so my thoughts tell me, there is a disunity of love, disparage and isolation of each from each other which is manifesting in our relationships being incomplete because of the lack of both waves of love and the awareness that you and we are also particles of love (light). To unite these loves into a single being, this could be the key to creating, sustain and growing lasting love connections with each other. Allow both the wave of love and the particle of love to manifest in your own existence.
In this do not be concerned with others who might or might not be able to create duel expression of love relationships: waves and particles. Concentrate only upon your own growth in your awareness and expression of the dual nature of love. Bringing this back to poly, I see the poly-relationship as the solution to this enigmatic characteristic of love connections. There is both the divine, holy and beautiful expression of love, and the specific, individual but just as beautiful expression of love. I am so excited about this intuitive thought, I want to keep writing to solidify it into thought and expression with these words. This idea is so useful, so profound and enabling, I want to shout it out. Not with rude expectations about how anyone should live, but with jubilant and free declaration of truth. Love does exist as both a particle and wave; it is our perceptions which will dictate how love manifests in our individual and collective lives. But we are not limited to receiving or staying within only one of those two possibilities, we are free, capable and indeed stronger to experience both waves and particles of love.
The connection between light and love grows stronger as this awareness of the duality of love grows. The love we can generate on this earth is beginning to grow to such a huge proportion that we might seem to be a new star in the heavens if others were seeing this potential of our love being fully released and realized. Imagine another being that sees love like we see light. Our planet would look like the birth of a new star as the potential for love grew and manifested. This is the sheer numbers of people on earth is so huge now, that if we all loved fully, we would shine like a star, because light and love are similar energies. Our collective love, the entire population of people loving and sharing love could be such that this planet would explode with love.
The mundane relationship takes on a whole new role as we become free of the simple, confining and controlling monogamous relationship. Now the role of the relationship is not stability and security, as it did mean in the distant past, but rather the intimate relationship is a place to explore the self, to answer bodily needs, like food and the art of culinary cuisine, so too intimacy takes on the role of bodily necessity, and this in no way takes any value from its active manifestation. We can take back sex, and intimacy from the institution that tried to corrupt and destroy these beautiful and powerful human bonds found in the intimate connection. We can make them once again beautiful, clean, natural, because they are. Sex is the most natural and beautiful bodily functions we have. The connection between eating as a natural bodily function and sex is powerful, and I will explain this strong and real connection in a future article. Today, I just want to point out that love is like light, think also how it is with light that most of the food of this earth live and grow, so too love is the energy that nurtures the fruit of our relationships.
Some may ask so what, why would this connection between light and love be necessary to talk about and call out into the open so strongly. To them I say that we have already learned do much about the physical energy we call light, how it has many levels of expression and we can only perceive a small band of its energetic wavelengths, how it can appear to be both a wave form and a particle, its speed and the special nature of this speed. Then there is the way that love is like light, well this is likely to be true on all levels of likeness, thus love also has a specific and unique speed of travel, though it seems to be instantaneous, it probably does travel though space and time together, creating a specific speed of travel. It also will, as I have already tried to demonstrate with a few personal examples, how love can be both a wave and a particle, and in fact that on a personal level we can manifest both forms of love on an individual, personal existence; lets learn from our existence knowledge about love, which is so far lacking in useful and tangible knowledge, thus bringing our awareness and knowledge of love up to par with our awareness and knowledge of light. We have done se wonderful and powerful things with the knowledge of light, I see no reason why we could not do the same with a deeper understanding and knowledge of love.
Truetalk is a contributing writer as well as a member of this online Community. He can be contacted here or through our message board Forums.
Truetalk ; September 22, 2007
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folks have read this article.